Idaman Hawa's Jeffrey Arazmi ~ Raya Open House

This pics are long overdue... so enjoy~

We ooh~ and ahh~ at this pretty li'l palace of his. Apparently apart from designin apparels Jeffrey's other biz is interior deco. No wonder, huh?

The Bosses

Berangan bilik sendiri. Cantikkan bilik ni

Mother & Daughter. Sebijik tak?

Ni baru betul towkeih... hehe~ Mr. Jeffrey himself.

Hajah tring to korek tips

Mein dengan pose dengkinya hehe~

I love the stairs area!!

see y? hand painted ok. am soo gonna mural my own stairs area

Tekovolution

Ala la la~

Kids havin fun at the backyard. YES, BACKYARD.

D girls adding up to the colorfullness~

I said 'Make sure everything masuk I wanna tiru this living room!'

Jazzy said 'Ma lets have this cozy living room!'

Abah got awed too. Actually he is not the subject matter in this pic, the ceiling is. awesome kan?

Letih pun posing ya.

Ha... u know why is he smiling It is HIS THING. Cats of different breed, birds, pets basically. those houses are for PETS!

Getir hatiku Allah yang tahu...

Derita ini aku yang menanggungnya
Air mata ini aku yg tak dapat tahan

Allah tahu, aku juga tahu
Masih ada yang sayang...
Pada yang sudah luntur sayangnya
Biarlah

Hari ini aku yang lalui
Esok lusa tah apa yang menanti
Biarlah
Akan aku harungi
Demi si kecil molek
Demi sekeping hati
Yang menyayangi diri ini

One Flaw in Woman, re-shared.

Flip thru my archive, go to November 10, 2005.

I've posted this... back then. Going thru a hard time makes my heart so tender once again, easily touched even with a simple manner. And I found this piece I posted once again... I'm gonna re-share this, to my newly found friends.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

this was so... moving and... *sigh*

By the time the Lord made woman,

He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said,

"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,

have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable

and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,

have a lap that can hold four children at one time,

have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart

-and she will do everything

with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.

"Only two hands!? No way!

And that's just on the standard model?

That's too much work for one day.

Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I won't," the Lord protested.

"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.

She already heals herself when she is sick

AND can work 18 hours a day."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.

"But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed,

"but I have also made her tough.

You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied,

"Not only will she be able to think,

she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.

"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.

I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak,"

the Lord corrected,

"that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,  her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed.

"You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love, and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have. 

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Salam Eid Mubarak!

Salam Aidilfitri. I know I'm imperfect & overly bold most of d time. Deep in my heart, I do not like it.

Maaf segala salah, Maaf segala silap, Maaf segala khilaf... Barakallahufekum!

this post will be updated from time to time.

The Sweet Scent on One Ramadhan Night

This is my first experience of such situation... And I find it rather... enlightening!

Mungkin kebetulan... Last nite was Malam Jumaat. Masih di Awal Ramadhan, 3 Ramadhan 1431H to be exact. I was doing my ironing, as usual when everyone else is already sound asleep. Approximately at 2.20am, I smell a familiar sweet scent. Toleh kanan kiri, tengok kot kot ada botol perfume or bedak tumpah nearby, tak ada. Tapi baunya makin kuat... Naturally, seriau sekejap, eventhough sempat terfikir, "Eh ni kan Ramadhan... so... it couldn't be..." But still, I switched of the plug and hurried into the room, to seek companion from my sleeping husband n Kyra,

Since it's already very late and the previous morning I didnt sleep after sahur, I decided to catch a wink. Terpusing pusing terpusing pusing,  I kept on thinking about the scent. Even terlintas di fikiran was... Arwah Nenda. Tatau kenapa, memanglah selalu teringatkan dia, tapi the scent makes me think of her too. Lagipun esok, genap setahun Hijriah Arwah Nenda meninggalkan kami di dunia ni. I tried to remember when & where did I smell this scent before, but till this post is typed, I can't.

I went to d door and peaked outside, nothing but serenity. No other sound except for the nightly sound. No one talking, no motorbikes, cars, just... very serene. So I decided to conduct some Solat-solat sunat, I cant say it's Qiyamullail in a true sense, cus I didnt sleep at all. But since Qiyamullail literally means membangunkan malam so, bolehlah jugak... Sesudah beberapa Solat Sunat yg diakhiri Witir 3 rakat... barulah dapat tidur. Lewat, tapi nyenyak dan damai. By the time Hubby kejut sahur, walaupun letih tu terasa, tapi idur terasa puas :o)

Adakah itu rezeki Ramadhan dari Allah untukku? Jika ya... Ya Allah... indahnya perasaan ini, syukurku padaMu, kerana mengurniakan perasaan yg indah ini!

Litchin Ad in Kosmo! Newspaper 8th July & Utusan Pancaindera 11th July ~ Feat. Zaza hj Zulkifle

This is an announcement by Emas Sutera.

Our Manager cum Product Consultant, Iza Zuhana hj Zulkifle will be featured in Kosmo! Newspaper 8th July 2010 and Utusan Pancaindera 11th July in the Litchin De Bella advertisement. Do get a hold of the newspapers, be awed and spread the news of Litchin's eficacy!

EMAS SUTERA MANAGEMENT TEAM
012.2601575 | 03.82100797
info@emassutera.com.my

Jazzy... HFMD :o( [worst thing, It was our 8th Wedding Anniversary.

Yesterday 17th May 2010. 8 years after me n Babah tied d knot.

It began with complains of sakit kaki after her exams in d morning. then sakit tangan. I didn't ignore, but gave a look, one look it just looked like normal rashes. Then she keeps on merengek rengek, well its a bit normal for Jazzy, tapi bila tengok rashes makin banyak n dekat tangan n kaki je, I was alarmed. HMFD was the first thing came to mind. Showed to Nenek Butik, she was a bit worried but tried to console everyone by saying maybe it's just Cacar.

I called Babah. Babah suruh bawak gi clinic. Tapi butik ada sorang staff je siang... I had to wait for Hazirah, our part-timer.

By 5pm she was already restless. Still payfull but restless. I dah tak tahan dah, mama memang dari tadi suruh balik takyahlah suruh Hazirah but despite that both of us knew I needed to be there, business reasons.  5.30 pm, Babah kata jom pegi Az Zahrah, aku pun melompat kemas barang and angkut everyone to Az Zahrah [Kyra ikut ke Butik semalam].

The doc in Az Zahrah didn't say much. But he does looked taken aback. He asked "Sejak bila ni?" I said "Tadi lepas exam" he said "Oh dia pergi sekolah tadi? Mungkin dari situ." Straight forward I asked, "Isn't that HFMD?". Maybe doctor ni tak biasa dengan mak-bapak yg banyak mulut and sangat prihatin tentang ubat-ubatan dan penyakit, dia kata "U're a very observant mother, but I cant say anything yet sebab dia tak demam. But maybe yes, I am not saying no"

It was our anniversary, so despite the tense, we still went to SOHO for a simple anniversary dinner. Jazzy didn't share anything with anyone else [usually Kyra].

Sampai umah I checked her mouth, intuitively. My motherly instinct was right, ada a few ulcers and Jazzy cringe masa nak bukak mulut. I was horrified and Babah decided to go to Hospital Putrajaya.

It was d longest night. Kyra slept at 8pm sebab tak tido siang. The house was very quite. I tried to go to sleep but my eyes won't shut. I checked my FB but there's wasn't many interesting status to comment on. Nak uodate emassutera.com.my lagilah takde mood... called Babah twice, katanya ramai gila orang, lama menunggu. Tapi finally I did tido, ntahlah wat time, I was counting sheeps. Tapi around 11.30 camtu abah balik... Abah kata memang ya HFMD tapi Jazzy wasn't admitted sebab dia masih ada selera makan. But once dia vomit, we hafto bring her back for admission... I hope not.

This morning I was having a hard time to pujuk Kyra so that pergi umah mama Ruby. Mama n Babah was pressuring "PLEASE PISAHKAN MEREKA" tapi diorang ni nak ke berenggang korang ingat? I had to struggle to bathe her, I had to pujuk segala macam bribe, dia nak juga duduk umah. Tapi tak boleh jadik, 10.30 i had to angkut dia turun, and went to Mama Ruby's. Mesti separate, kalau Kyra kena lagi susah, sebab dia kecik lagi. I went to school to inform about the case and sent her MC. I do hope the school ambil berat, takut ramai lagi yang kena... I went to Alamanda, but I checked on Jazzy by phone, I taught her how to use d phone before I go. I went to Alamanda to find her fav donut and air kelapa... Babah kata tunggu beli di taman warisan tapi biarlah untuk pagi ni dulu...

Its a bit tedious nak jaga dia... Kena asing semua utensil yg dia guna, towel, mandi kena ganti air... yang paling susah nak suruh dia duduk diam satu tempat, memang impossible. Budak besar tu mana lah boleh duk diam... tawakkal jelah.

I hope she gets well fast and tak sampai tahap muntah and all... and I'm taking d risk of myself kena jangkit too. Yelah everyone knows i haf d worst immune system deficiency case in d family. Ni pun dah start gatal-gatal...

Tahlil Nenda and 100 Days without Aizati...

Tonight there'sll be a tahlil in Angah Seremban's house for Nenda... am preparing Caramel Pudding and Jelly to bring... Nenek... hear us tonight... we miss U, sorely!

Aizati, sorry I didn't go to ur tahlil yesterday... tonight's tahlil was planned yesterday but was cancelled cus so many of us couldn't make it including me n mama sebab one staff balik kampung kena risik.

The both of you... I've always remembered U in my prayers. And hear me out tonight, ya...

Lost another good soul...

I do not know how to type this post, cus I dont want to hurt anyone who loved her.

She's a good friend, an advisor, a teacher. In limkokwing, her desk was behind my desk, she was absent the first day I reported into the faculty. I was nervous to meet her, I heard she was a good motion grafix lecturer. But for all I know, she was a great great companion. We exchanged stories, went to lunch together and the best of all, reminded each other it's praying time. She decided to wear hijab later on, and last Ramadhan, I gave her one of my fav black tudung as a reminiscing gift so she'll remember me as a friend eventhough I was no longer in limkokwing.

But today... a call from OC gave me a terrible shock. I couldn't describe how I was trembling holding my cell to hear that she's gone. Scenes of flashbacks suddenly appear in my eyes. And most sadly... the loved ones she left behind.

Aizati Aziz, U'll be missed. I pray that God bless you and moga bahagia di sana... Hope to meet u in heaven... al-Fatihah.

We Won LCD TV 42"???

Korang baca post post sebelum ni? nampak aku tido kol baper? so pagi ni aku serious weng.

Tiba tib a dapat call aku menang LCD TC 42" kat TM, kena gi prize giving ceremony kat TMPoint Kelana jaya 17th ni.

Aku yang ting tong ini, dapat news gila camni. Aku tanya dia, ha? serious? dia leh gelak serious ni cik. adui.

Wat a ting tong day!


[11:34:29 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: WAIT
[11:34:34 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: KITA MENANG lcd
[11:34:40 AM] Neo Soul Movement: how u now?
[11:34:54 AM] Neo Soul Movement: ada email
[11:34:55 AM] Neo Soul Movement: !
[11:35:01 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: CALL NOW
[11:35:06 AM] Neo Soul Movement: OK
[11:35:09 AM] Neo Soul Movement: wheres the email
[11:35:12 AM] Neo Soul Movement: i need to see the email
[11:35:12 AM] Neo Soul Movement: they send email
[11:35:16 AM] Neo Soul Movement: open the outlook
[11:36:26 AM] Neo Soul Movement: i dont see it on the website
[11:36:32 AM] Neo Soul Movement: http://tmpoint.tm.com.my/streamyx/contest/
[11:36:48 AM] Neo Soul Movement: *
 Winner will be informed by Telephone, e-Mail and Streamyx Contest official Website
[11:37:49 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: NOW THEY JUST INFRM
[11:37:53 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: EMAIL SOON
[11:37:56 AM] Neo Soul Movement: SERIOUS?
[11:38:01 AM] Neo Soul Movement: BERAPA INCH !?
[11:38:04 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: TAPI KENA GI TMPOINT KELANA JAYA 16 OR 17
[11:38:04 AM] Neo Soul Movement: 32? or 40?
[11:38:07 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: 42
[11:38:13 AM] Neo Soul Movement: BIAR BETUL
[11:38:15 AM] Neo Soul Movement: PEGI BILA !!!?
[11:38:24 AM] Neo Soul Movement: NAK KUTIP !!!!
[11:38:55 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: kita kena gi proze giving ceremony tuh
[11:39:03 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: nmasalahnya hari bekerja
[11:39:05 AM] Neo Soul Movement: confirm boleh pegi
[11:39:08 AM] Neo Soul Movement: no problem
[11:39:11 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: gila
[11:39:13 AM] Neo Soul Movement: KITA AMIK CUTI !!!
[11:39:13 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: biar benar
[11:39:15 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: :P
[11:39:22 AM] Neo Soul Movement: I DONT CARE WE GO !!!
[11:39:29 AM] Neo Soul Movement: AKU PENAT MENGARANG TU
[11:40:49 AM] Neo Soul Movement: slogan dia kalau tak silap: Layanan Mesra: Penjelasan Di berikan, Perkhidmatan di jelaskan, Kepuasan pelanggan di utamakan !
[11:40:53 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: dia kata tak kesah me or u gi tapi preferabbly me sebab nak amik gambar reramai meriahkan
[11:41:02 AM] Neo Soul Movement: yes BABY YES
[11:41:07 AM] Neo Soul Movement: I DREAM OF IT !!!!
[11:41:08 AM] Neo Soul Movement: WHEN?
[11:41:11 AM] Neo Soul Movement: WHEN CAN WE GO
[11:41:16 AM] Neo Soul Movement: I TAKE U THERE NOW NOW NOW
[11:41:57 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: aku dah la cam mamai n weng
[11:42:03 AM] Neo Soul Movement: thats the slogan i wrote
[11:42:05 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: lambat gila aku nak proses info nih
[11:42:07 AM] Neo Soul Movement: malam takbir raya tu !
[11:42:16 AM] Neo Soul Movement: they call u ek just now?
[11:42:18 AM] Neo Soul Movement: nanti check email u
[11:42:20 AM] Neo Soul Movement: bukak outlook tu
[11:43:14 AM] Neo Soul Movement: i tengah excited ni
[11:43:16 AM] Neo Soul Movement: hahaha
[11:43:24 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: nama dia kris
[11:43:26 AM] Neo Soul Movement: i mmg tengah dpt ilham malam tu buat slogan tu
[11:43:40 AM] Neo Soul Movement: u ada minta no telefon dia?
[11:43:47 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: ada no tel dia ni
[11:43:51 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: adoi aku dah la mamai
[11:43:54 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: aperkah ini
[11:44:47 AM] Neo Soul Movement: ok sweet
[11:45:04 AM] Neo Soul Movement: i buat slogan tu tiru slogan 1malaysia
[11:45:05 AM] Neo Soul Movement: haha
[11:45:36 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: aku siap tanya dia serius ke
[11:45:41 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: dia leh gelak serious cik
[11:45:55 AM] Neo Soul Movement: dia ni dari marketing department ke?
[11:46:03 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: ha kau tatau aku weng
[11:46:06 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: aku cam ha?
[11:46:08 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: apa??
[11:46:12 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: ha yeke?
[11:47:05 AM] Neo Soul Movement: apa lagi dia cakap
[11:47:09 AM] Neo Soul Movement: bila nak amik hadiah tu
[11:47:30 AM] Neo Soul Movement: http://tmpoint.tm.com.my/streamyx/contest/oct09/photo53.htm
[11:47:54 AM] Neo Soul Movement: nanti kita anak beranak pi amik gambar !
[11:49:25 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: abah apasal aku cam slow je arini adui
[11:51:01 AM] Neo Soul Movement: dia bagi toshiba tu !
[11:51:03 AM] Neo Soul Movement: http://tmpoint.tm.com.my/streamyx/contest/oct09/photo48.htm
[11:51:03 AM] Neo Soul Movement: hahaha
[11:51:08 AM] Neo Soul Movement: hope full HD !!!
[11:51:19 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: i dah confirmkan
[11:51:22 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: 17hb
[11:51:24 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: pagi
[11:51:27 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: dia call again
[11:51:31 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: dia nak i datang jugak no reps
[11:51:32 AM] Neo Soul Movement: SWEET !!!
[11:51:43 AM] Neo Soul Movement: TAKPE WE GO !
I TAKE LEAVE !!!
[11:52:59 AM] Neo Soul Movement: TAKPE WE TAKE HALFDAY LEAVELAH
[11:53:00 AM] Neo Soul Movement: WE GO
[11:53:04 AM] Neo Soul Movement: WE WEAR NICE CLOTHES !
[11:54:21 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: ya ya...
[11:54:24 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: but right now
[11:54:27 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: i tak cukup tido
[11:54:32 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: and need to go to d office
[11:54:45 AM] Neo Soul Movement: ok
[11:54:47 AM] Neo Soul Movement: sweet
[11:55:04 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: shit y myy fon takleh sms
[11:55:24 AM] Neo Soul Movement: mana i tau
[11:55:24 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: call bolhe
[11:56:59 AM] Neo Soul Movement: i dah mmg terdetik pasal contest tu sebab i rasa slogan dia mmg menarik !
[11:57:08 AM] Neo Soul Movement: kan lama i karang tu dekat 2 jam
[11:57:12 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: ok ok get over urselve, let me go to ofis first
[11:57:21 AM] Neo Soul Movement: ok
[11:57:21 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: mama dahla tgh membebel suruh i brenti
[11:57:25 AM] Neo Soul Movement: safe driving
[11:57:31 AM] Neo Soul Movement: i need u for the 42 LCD !
[11:57:32 AM] binxz.hj.zulkifle: yeah i need dat

NewGadget in da house~!

Welcoming Lappy Zappy ~ ur new family member. Acer Aspire 4736G. 4GB DDR3 RAM. Lovin' d fast-ness~!

Made possible by Emas Sutera. It was part of d *contract* hehe. Mekaceh mama & papa.

Once upon a Ramadhan...

Dua hari sebelum Aidilfitri, sehari sebelum berangkat ke Sandakah, I brought Jazzy along to Kubur Arwah Nenda & Atuk di Langat. Nak gi Semenyih tak sempat, bz sangat aritu.

Yang sedihnya... ada suara-suara sumbang family kami tak jenguk kubur masa raya. Nah, ini buktinya. kosong lagi belum ada bunga lagi, lepas tu baru kami tabur bunga & daun pandan yang Arwah sendiri tanam, sengaja aku bawak balik kat dia, hasil kerja tangan dia.

Cuma aku nak ingatkan, yang penting doa dan ingatan dan sedekahkan Al-Fatihah banyak-banyak walau di mana kita berada. Tak semestinya ke kubur baru kita dapat beramal untuk yang telah pergi. Banyak cara lain lagi. Kenapa itu yg nak dijadikan isu?

Selepas dimandi dan dikafankan...

Hanya ini gambar yang dapat kami ambil pada hari itu... itupun dari kamera papa, aku tak daya nak snap snap sebelum tu. tapi gambar yang masih jelas di ingatan akan cuba aku kekalkan sehingga ke akhir hayat.

Dan yang tinggal untukku...

I've decided that I will keep it like this. Even if I re-tie it, no one would b able to wear it, or at least I won't let them. I will even leave the hair in it. May all the good memories I shared with her be remembered forever. Terima kasih, nenek.

Happy Birthday, Mein Nanin Kakja yang buchuk!

I don't care if you don't like it I re-call u Nanin. U sounded so cute but childish that's y I told you not to be pelat. But then... after quite sumtime I quite miss it, hehe.

You were the cutest girl a sister ever looked at. After 10 years of solitude, you were the light of my life. I remember swaying you in that buaian, singing you to sleep... Washing ur poops, putting on your pe-pers, I so felt responsible!

Yes there was a time when I was so jealous with you, a normal thingy for a big sister at the age of 11-12. But when I go to Mozac, you were the person I missed the most all d time. The night before I was sent to that boarding school, I sang to you 'Yang kan terjadi akan terjadi'. You were only 3 when I had to go there for 5 years. You were among the important reason why I wanna wear braces when I was there, sebab kalo pakai braces boleh balik every two weeks, free, kalo tak 3 kali setahun je!

Your hair was wat I envied the most. I remembered it was past your pinggang. And remember those times when you kejar ayam? Haha U were so weirdly funny, up till now. Senget is d best word, ;op~

But now u're all grown up, turning 19 today. I hope U won't do the same mistakes I did before, U will regret it each and every seconds of it in your later life. I hope ur future is full of wonderful things, a good career, and a happy life. Whoever is going to be attached to you permanently will ave to answer to ME. I AM DA BOSS AUGI-AMMAR-MOGI!

Think before you take any first step. But once u're in sumthing, wutever mess u're in, be intelligent enuff to clean it. Be responsible. Buckle Up. The world is never un-cruel. If u need help, no matter how bad my mouth is, my heart is always open for you. Just ignore the mouth.

Lastly, Happy birthday little sister. No matter how tall u have grown up u're still that cheeky little thing in my eyes!

Yang Kan Terjadi, Tetap Terjadi ~ Qiara

Di ketika ini keadaan tiada mengizinkan
Untuk ku lafazkan kata-kata menghuraikan perasaan
Tapi ku menyakini yang kan terjadi tetap terjadi
Usah ada gesaan apalagi suatu paksaan
Kau tahu diriku serba tiada ku ingin lebih bersedia

Lalu di atas nama cita-cita kau ku tinggalkan sementara
Dengan percaya engkau akan mengerti
Dan sabar menanti...

Berdoa... berdoalah sayang
Sepenuh keyakinan
Bukan berjanji bukan bersumpah
Cuma percaya...
Ku kan pulang padamu jua... Dinda!

Apa yang terjadi kan terjadi
Dengan keizinan Ilahi
Aku menyakini yang kan terjadi tetap terjadi
Aku menyakini yang kan terjadi tetap terjadi
Pertemuan... di azali...

Mein's posting on Allahyarhamah Nenda

Mein is one of d closes cucu during nenek's last few days... She also had a dream about nenek, us baking cookies together with arwah :`o(((

here goes....

Nenek, tak sempat kte buat kueh same2..

Nenek Siti Rohana Idris 1928 - 2009

harini ktorg bersahur tanpa nenek.. jenguk kat bilik nenek, ucu je yang ade.. tgk atas meja, makanan masih di dalam tin.. slalu nenek masakkan.. makanan ade je bawah tudung saji.. harini ktorg bangun lambat nk sahur, nenek xde, so mein kne tolong papa n mama masak.. kalau nenek ade, mesti tak pyah masak dah.. tinggal nk makan je..

dulu sebelum mein g tadika, nenek slalu tocangkan rambut mein.. nenek tau mein dh lambat nk pegi tadika. tapi, nenek ikat rambut mein lama2 supaya kemas. dulu mase mein maen2 kat longkang, mein jatuh.. kepala berdarah.. nenek yg rawat kan.. dulu g pasar kat batu 9, nenek ngan ucu slalu belikan mein baju nipis sepasang yang ade gambar2 tu.. nenek belikan yang ade gambar Garfield, Mickey Mouse, bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad.. kalau mein tak ikut pun, nenek belikan jugak.. sebab nenek tau mein suke baju sepasang yg kale2 tu.. dulu nenek suke pakai bedak sejuk yg puteh tu.. mein sibok2 nk pakai jugak.. nenek pakaikan.. walaupun mse tu dah malam, nenek dah ngntuk nak tidur.. nenek sabar je ngan mein.. sekarang mse mein dh besar pun nenek sabar je ble mein cakap kuat2 ngn nenek.. sebenarnye mein takut nenek x dengar.. tu yg mein cakap kuat2.. mein mintak maaf nek, kalau nenek rase sakit hati ble mein cakap kuat2 mcm tu..

paling mein rindu pasal nenek ialah mse kte buat kueh dulu.. nenek ingat tak, dulu mse kt rumah lame, nenek ajar mein buat kueh loyang.. mein suke tengok nenek buat kueh tu.. mein suke tengok nenek buat kueh.. tatau npe.. mein sukeee... tapi sejak pindah sini, nenek dah tak larat buat kueh.. perkakasnye pun ntah mne2.. mein tanye2 nenek ble nenek nk buat kueh camtu lagi.. tapi nenek cakap "macam mano laie minn.. bahan-bahannyo tak ado.." kalau mein nak, mein boleh je belikan bahan2nye tapi mein tak belikan.. mein lagi banyak buat hal sendiri daripada layan nenek sorang2 tengok tv kat bawah.. mein sampai mimpi kita buat kueh keria same2.. sume orang buat.. nenek pun ade.. mein mimpi nenek mintak tolong mein masukan kueh keria tu dalam oven.. tatau la npe kne masuk dalam oven.. tapi yang mein harapkn slame ni termakbul jugak dalam mimpi tu.. tapi mein nk buat kueh betol2 ngn nenek.. mein tunggu je dapur kat bawah tu siap renovate.. mein berhajat, lepas dapur tu siap, kte boleh buat kueh same2 sebelum raye ni.. tapi dah tak sempat dah.. :'(

semalam ucu cakap nenek tertanye2 pasal ktorg kat sini.. nenek kat seremban.. nenek tanye ucu ble ktorg nk dtg.. nenek cakap nk tgk ateem.. nenek ingatkan kakja tak jadi datang.. tapi ucu tolong cakapkan kat nenek yg ktorg nak datang petang semalam... nenek tunggula.. tapi tak sempat... mase ucu mandikan nenek, ucu cakap nenek dah tertunduk.. ucu panggil nenek, nenek tak menyahut.. angah cakap nenek dah pergi... mase tu 11.40am.. mase tu mein baru nk kuar beli iMac.. dalam perjalanan ke MMU, mama call papa cakap nenek dah pergi.. papa tersentak.. kereta perlahan dengan mendadak.. mase mein dengar papa cakap "innalillah.." mein tanye "ape? ape?? ape??" mase tu mein terfikir kat nenek je.. ble mein terfikir kat nenek, papa tak payah bgtau pun takpe.. sebab mein dah tau.. nenek yg pergi.. daripada mein gembira sakan nak beli iMac, mein nanges.. mein tau nenek nak pergi dah.. tapi, mein tak jangka pula nenek nak pergi semalam.. mse tu jugak mein call wan n ammar nak bgtau pasal nenek.. ktorg tak jadi beli iMac mein.. mein tak kisah dah pasal iMac tu.. yang mein tau, mein nak jumpe nenek sebelum nenek dikebumikan..

ble sampai butik, mein dengar mama nanges.. tapi mama kuat.. dea tak nanges sebab dea tak dapat terima nenek pergi.. tapi, dea bersyukur sebab nenek pergi mse bulan puasa.. nenek pergi tanpa seksa.. ktorg cepat2 balik rumah, pakai baju lawa2.. mein tau, mesti nenek nak tengok ktorg pakai lawa2, elok2, sebab nenek pun suke macam tu..

mase sampai kt seremban, mein cari nenek.. mein nk panggil nenek, tapi cmne.. takkan mein nk panggil orang yg dah takde.. mein masuk rumah angah, mein tengok badan dan muka nenek dah diselubungi kaen batik.. mein nanges semula.. mase tengok nenek dalam keadaan macam tu, mein mengharap sangat nenek sedar balik, panggil nama mein, mama sume.. walaupun mein tau benda tu takkan menjadi.. mase mama buka kaen batik tu, nak tengok muka nenek, mein tengok muka nenek puteh sangat.. sebelum ni kalau muka nenek puteh, tu tandenye nenek pakai bedak sejuk.. tapi ni nenek tak pakai pun.. mama, angah sume cium muka nenek, peluk nenek.. sayang sangat kat nenek..

ktorg hantar jenazah nenek ke batu 9. mein tengok deorg mandikan nenek.. harum..... tak macam orang slalu ckp.. mse mandikan jenzah, bau busuk.. tapi nenek tidak.. nenek wangi sangat.. kakja pun cakap senang nk mandikan nenek.. lepas tu, deorg balut nenek dengan kaen puteh sume.. kali terakhir mein tengok muka nenek, muka nenek semakin puteh.. mein cium nenek kat dua2 belah pipi.. mase tu mein nak sangat nenek bangun balik, cium pipi mein.. tapi mein tau tu sume takkan berlaku.. lepas sume orang dah cium nenek, deorg usung nenek ke majid yang ucu cakap atuk tolong bina.. deorg solat jenazah kat situ.

selesai sumenye, ktorg bawak nenek kat kubur, sama tempat ngan kubur atuk.. mse tu petang.. tak panas.. redup je.. tak hujan jugak.. deorg sume letakkan nenek dalam kubur nenek.. papa tolong timbuskan.. lepas dah timbus, talkin, yassin sume, ktorg balik.. nenek tunggu yea.. nanti raya ktorg datang balik.. mama cakap, sekarang nenek boleh jumpe atuk semula.. nenek bergembiralah ngan atuk.. ktorg doakan nenek ngan atuk dijauhkan dari seksa kubur dan api neraka.. kakja cakap, nenek sangat senang diuruskan.. itu tandanya betapa mulianya hidup seseorang itu.. mama penah cakap, dulu mase dea sekolah, bila balik2 rumah, mesti ade je makanan atas meja.. kalau nenek tak jage mama baek2, manela datang mein ni ha.. terima kasih, nek..

mase nenek ade, mein tak banyak tangkap gambar nenek.. i should've done so..

I posted a comment for this article, here it is...

mein...

sebulan lebih sebelum arwah meninggal, arwah ada mintak tolong kak ja re-tie her bracelet. I told her, "Nek, iko galang murah yo, kan ado nek bali dari zaza yg maha, nek pakai itu dulu yo? nanti ado maso den buek yg iko".

From day to day, remnants of d bracelet tersadai in my drawer di butik, di dalam bekas bedak sejuk dia. bedak sejuk yg mein ingat tu. dari sehari ke sehari sejak arwah dah start terbaring, kakja teringat nak buat tapi bertangguh. sampai seminggu sebelum arwah ke seremban dia ada tanya pasal gelang di dalam bekas bedak sejuk :o`(((...

dulu I tak rasa pun bekas bedak sejuk yg dah usang tu special, now everytime i see it, I cry. ada sehelai rambut nenek dalam tu, teringat masa mandikan nenek ada dua tiga helai rambut gugur I belek-belek sambil menangis. I simpan, I biar rupa dia rupa yg sama. I tatau sama ada nak sambung balik gelang tu atau tidak... :o`((

I totally miss her. I am still very devastated.

Masih meruntun lagi...

Sebagai seorang Muslim yang diberi ilmu, aku tau aku tak sepatutnya menangis jika yang tersayang pergi... Ia hanya akan menambahkan pedih pada arwah. Tapi... apakan daya aku. Aku seorang manusia, ada hati, ada jiwa. Aku ada memori, dan aku juga tak ingin kehilangan memori itu....

Aku terlalu terkilan, sehingga kini tak dapat hantarkan air tangan aku yg terakhir, yang memang aku sudah niatkan untuk dia. Namun aku ebrsyukur dapat membalas jasanya memasakkan makanan aku semasa membesarkan aku sejak dari Langat, ke Hussein Onn, malah di Putrajaya pun. Aku dah besar panjang, dah bersuami, dah bekerja, dia masih memberikan aku bekal makan makanan kegemaran aku. Padahal sewaktu aku kecil, aku tak terluakkan santan-santan, sambal-sambal yang berminyak, cili api yg pedas menyengat yang dimasakanya... tapi bila aku dah dewasa, itu yg aku nantikan! Dan kini... itu yang aku dambakan!

Aku tatau sampai bila aku akan meratapi pemergian nenek... seharusnya aku gembira kerana dia pergi dengan aman, tanpa sebarang aib malah dimuliakan dengan segala kemudahan pengurusan jenazah. Tapi aku terlalu sedih... sangat sedih... aku masih menangis, aku termimpikan dia sebelum terbangun utk solat tahajjud... Dan Allah Maha Kuasa, aku masih suci, tidak ada tanda-tanda aku akan epriod semula. Mungkin Allah tahu aku ingin sedekahkan Yasin banyak-banyak pada arwah, selagi tanah kubur arwah masih merah!

Nenek, kalaulah nenek tahu betapa rindunya Zaza pada nenek sekarang!

Selamat Jalan... Nenda tersayang :'o(

Nenda sudah pergi... 11.40a.m. pagi tadi di rumah angah. Berita yang... sudah dijangka akan tiba tetapi bila ia tiba ia sangat menyesakkan dada. Allahyarhamah selamat dikuburkan di Tanah Perkuburan Islam bt 10 Hulu Langat, alhamdulillah Tanah Perkuburan yang sama dengan Allahyarham suaminya, Haji Ahamad.

Arwah kami decide untuk hantar ke rumah angah sejak dia sudah tidak berdaya lagi 2-3 weeks ago kerana angah lebih arif tentang hal jaga-menjaga memandangkan dia bekas seorang Sister/head-nurse. Malahan angah juga menyatakan dia teringin bersama nenek ketika masih ada masa. Sejak di sana kami dengan nenek semakin segar dan sudah ada selera makan bila angah atau ucu suapkan... untuk yg tahu there's more to it to this story tapi menghormati pemergian nenek, kita lupakanlah sebentar perbalahan. Tetapi itu semua until malam semalam, bila angah call mama bagitau nenek sudah tak berdaya langsung-langsung dan sebuk bertanyakan Atim, Mein & Zaza [yes, me]... Subhanallah, I can't decide whether to feel happy kerana dia bertanyakan kami pada saat-saat terakhirnya atau... sedih & terkilan kerana tak sempat menghantarkan Acar buah & biskut cornflakes yang aku buat pukul 4 pagi tadi kepada dia, supposingly malam ini.

Berita mama terima dari angah, kira-kira jam 12 tghari. Keceriaan pagi tadi apabila Mein muncul di butik bercerita tentang iMac yang akan dibelinya hari ini tiba-tiba hilang. Masa tu mama duduk depan aku, mula-mula nak cerita lain, tetapi lupa so citer pasal dapurnya. Dapur dia renovate, sebab nak terima ramai tetamu manalah tahu... kalau-kalau.... ya. Kami memang dah bersedia untuk berita itu. Phone mama berbunyi... hanya dengan satu ayat, aku sudah tau khabar beritanya. I can remember exactly "Ha! Ngah! Ye ke ngah... Allah Ngah...!" Cukup sampai situ, aku terjerit bertanya bila pada mama dengan deraian airmata. Atas nama Allah, intuition aku sudah ada nenek akan meninggalkan kami Ramadhan tahun ini, cuma exact day Allah yg tahu... rupa-rupanya hari ini....

Sejak awal tahun 2009 aku melihat perubahan drastik pada nenek. Dari air mukanya aku tahu dia takkan lama lagi bersama kami. Beberapa series of mimpi juga memberi isyarat pada aku, ada juga kadang share-share dengan mama n mein yg juga termimpi-mimpi petunjuk yang sama... Maklumlah, kami yg menjaga nenek, sejak arwah atuk meninggal Nenek tak pernah tinggal permanent dengan orang lain, kerana tulah terasa sungguh pemergiannya... Masa Proton Saga baru keluar, asal ke suntex garden nenek mesti belikan aku satu tshirt yg ada gambar model Proton Saga. Sampaikan aku ada semua kaler. Biru, Merah, Ijau... segala. Nenek juga yg membuatkan aku pandai merasa makanan supaya cukup-cukup rasa, pandai perah santan, bawak aku ke pasar langat melihat ikan sembilang berlaga-laga... ah... memori sungguh indah! Hasilnya hingga hari ini, aku tidak kekok ke pasar tani/malam/basah walaupun rumah sejengkal dari Carrefour.

Nenek pernah cemburu dengan salah seorang bibik kami kerana aku terlalu rapat dengan dia. Dia pernah mengadu pada cucunya yang lain tapi ntahlah, aku harap dia sudah maafkan aku tentang peristiwa zaman kanak-kanak aku tu. Nenek pernah kecewa kerana aku sering keluar malam di zaman gelapku, aku panggil zaman tu zaman batu.... Aku akan rindukan sambal petai nenek, which i think I've told so many people about it. Nenek selalu kirimkan bekal sambal petai sampai satu fakulti limkokwing tu bau sambal petai aku pedulik haper sambal petai arwah memang sedap and no comparison. Dan sampai mati aku takkan lupa permintaan sambal kicap letak asam kasturi... katanya "Kok iyo nak masakkan nek ikan bakar laie, jangan lupa samba' kicap jo asam limau tu yo..." That... was just a few weeks ago. :`o(

Back to today... Aku tak malu nak ceritakan satu kekuasaan dan rahmat Allah yang aku terima hari ini. Aku period. Aku tak puasa. Baru hari ketiga. Tetapi aku sangat-sangat mahu solat jenazah untuk nenek, mandikan nenek, baca Yasin banyak-banyak untuk nenek. Dari saat aku terima berita itu kekesalan bermain dikepala. Sepanjang perjalanan pulang dari Butik ke Putrajaya untuk gather dengan Azam dan anak-anak before pergi ke Seremban, aku tak henti henti pohon pada Allah... Izinkanlah aku Manji Wajib. Allah itu Maha Pemurah, Maha Penyayang dan Maha mengetahui... Aku suci. Aku mandi. Meruntun jiwa aku mengenangkan rahmat yang Allah berikan. Sepanjang ke Seremban selang-seli dengan esakan yg aku tak dapat kawal aku berzikir dan baca Yasin. Bila sampai... alhamdulillah mereka masih menunggu van jenazah, jadi aku dapat baca Yasin berjemaah dengan papa, mama, angah etc. Dapat tengok nenek ditempat dia pergi... dapat peluk nenek ketika orang masih tak ramai... Bila datang van jenazah, diorang kata siapa nak ikut? Aku pandang mama dan angah. Kemudian pandang yang lain, nampaknya... I am blessed, again, aku dapat naik van jenazah bersama-sama nenek, mama dan angah dalam perjalanannya terakhir ke tanah lahirnya di Cheras dari rumah anaknya di Seremban. Perjalanan agak jauh, tapi nyaman walaupun tidak ber-air-cond. Being with nenek lebih menyamankan... Dapat lagi baca Yasin, walaupun sesekali terngiang suara nenek buatkan aku menangis lagi...

Sampai di Bt 9 ramai waris lain dah menanti. Alhamdulillah hampir semua cucu cicit nenek dapat hadir kecuali family Kak Cia yg jauh di Terengganu. Semua anak menantunya [kecuali arwah along] juga ada. Adik-beradik tirinya pun ada. Nenek anak sorang... yg lain semua tiri. Ibu tirinya hampir sebaya dia juga sedang uzur tak dapat hadir. dan Ya Allah... syukur, ada lagi rezeki aku. Dengan pengalaman turut serta memandikan Arwah Makcik Jenab [makcik azam] aku turut serta memandikan nenek. Masya Allah, mudah. sungguh mudah. Nenek bersih, wangi... ringan dan mudah. Mengkapankan juga aku turut bantu. Aku tak kira yg lain tanak bantu atau takut atau apa sekalipun dengan pengetahuan sedikit yang aku ada, aku nak buat utk nenek dalam saat-saat terakhirnya di mukabumi... Masa inilah Ucu, walaupun sejak tadi menangis, mula memeluk aku. Hampir meraung. Dan pada saat itu, aku berjanji tanak marah-marah Ucu lagi... dia jahil. DIa sudah tiada teman lagi... dudlu neneklah temannya. Nasib baik masih ada Atim...

Selesai semua waris mencium Arwah buat kali terakhir maka dibawa dia ke Tanah Perkuburan Islam bt 10 Hulu Langat selepas Solat Jenazah di Masjid Bt 9, tempat aku mengaji kecik-kecik dulu... Proses pengkebumian sangat lancar. Tough-tough menantu dan cucu nenek... hari pun... dari terik berubah nyaman. Langsung tak panas. Tak hujan. Windy. Talkin dibacakan... sayu... dan bila ramai sudah beredar, aku papa mama mein ucu akram & na masih di situ... bagai tak ingin jauh dari nenek. Kami baca Surah Yasin lagi, bila papa mula baca doa dengan teresak-esak, Allah tak dapat kawal, meruntun lagi. Papa memang menantu yg marvelous. Aku bangga dengan papa, and I did told him so semasa join berbuka tadi...

Nenek, Zaza jarang cakap Zaza sayang nenek sejak dah besar-besar ni. tapi... Rasanya nenek tau kot. dari segi harta benda hanya beberapa discounted bracelets yang Zaza mampu bagi kat nenek. Tapi dalam ingatan, nenek sentiasa nenek yang Zaza sayang. yang tocangkan rambut nak gi sekolah. yang buatkan bubur bila demam. Dan yang pasti, you cook d best sambal petai ever. Nenek, Zaza pohon Allah ampunkan dosa nenek, lapangkan kubur nenek dan jauhkan nenek dari siksaan kubur... Zaza tau zaza tak sempat mintak halal, tapi harap nenek sempat halalkan...

Hajah Siti Rohana Idris 1928 ~ 2009

From Archive 2007, Kat buaian depan umah mama

Made it to d Magz again

Rezeki ke apa tataulah... tapi nampaknya orang yang tak seberapa macam aku ni pun ada rezeki masuk mag. Tapi yelah kan I am not as lucky as Mein who made it to TV, herself pernah, and her blog pun pernah. HUh, nasib baik adik tapi sebab adik lah kedengkian aku bercambah muahahaha [hasutan syaiton neh]. Well I am happy for Mein. But warn ya, if u spoil ur future n reputation, siap kau, huh!

Majalah Perempuan June 2009 Edition

This one was shot in Pn Zaiton Alias's house, was meant for a tribute to ID Perempuan stockist, who, actually, more appropriately is my mother, the owner of Butik Emas Sutera. At first mama suruh I take pix wit her, tapi diorang tak kasik, I ended up being in d picture alone and tah bila masa aku DAH warisi BUtik Emas Sutera. That's huge commitment and it sux sumtimes. Being an heir isn't too good sumtimes, u know.

Majalah Keluarga September 2009 Edition
Ni pulak memang rezeki. Syazwani, the journalist came to our butik tgk baju, tiba-tiba katanya "eh nak interview boleh?" I said "what is it about?" dia kata artikel raya her side job dia datang situ asalnya interview orang lain, then tgk-tgk baju teringat pulak ada job ni. Apa lagi, as u can see aku mengambil kesempatan make sure dia letak nama my two precious in d article, siap tuliskan ejaan lagi. Tengok, jarang tau ejaan nama diorang betul camni hehe. Pastu tgk mama n Papa tumpang sekaki :op

Sunway Lagoon 2009

Splish Splash again! Bubbah's Bday Bash in Sunway Lagoon :op~ I so need to be the season pass. every year pegi... kids la paling enjoy. Mein & Ateem joined in this time. I scratch my elbow while going down the surf board slide. degil orang kata kepit tangan aku gi bukak. padan muka. But Great time :)