Happy Birthday, Mein Nanin Kakja yang buchuk!

I don't care if you don't like it I re-call u Nanin. U sounded so cute but childish that's y I told you not to be pelat. But then... after quite sumtime I quite miss it, hehe.

You were the cutest girl a sister ever looked at. After 10 years of solitude, you were the light of my life. I remember swaying you in that buaian, singing you to sleep... Washing ur poops, putting on your pe-pers, I so felt responsible!

Yes there was a time when I was so jealous with you, a normal thingy for a big sister at the age of 11-12. But when I go to Mozac, you were the person I missed the most all d time. The night before I was sent to that boarding school, I sang to you 'Yang kan terjadi akan terjadi'. You were only 3 when I had to go there for 5 years. You were among the important reason why I wanna wear braces when I was there, sebab kalo pakai braces boleh balik every two weeks, free, kalo tak 3 kali setahun je!

Your hair was wat I envied the most. I remembered it was past your pinggang. And remember those times when you kejar ayam? Haha U were so weirdly funny, up till now. Senget is d best word, ;op~

But now u're all grown up, turning 19 today. I hope U won't do the same mistakes I did before, U will regret it each and every seconds of it in your later life. I hope ur future is full of wonderful things, a good career, and a happy life. Whoever is going to be attached to you permanently will ave to answer to ME. I AM DA BOSS AUGI-AMMAR-MOGI!

Think before you take any first step. But once u're in sumthing, wutever mess u're in, be intelligent enuff to clean it. Be responsible. Buckle Up. The world is never un-cruel. If u need help, no matter how bad my mouth is, my heart is always open for you. Just ignore the mouth.

Lastly, Happy birthday little sister. No matter how tall u have grown up u're still that cheeky little thing in my eyes!

Yang Kan Terjadi, Tetap Terjadi ~ Qiara

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Aku menyakini yang kan terjadi tetap terjadi
Aku menyakini yang kan terjadi tetap terjadi
Pertemuan... di azali...

Mein's posting on Allahyarhamah Nenda

Mein is one of d closes cucu during nenek's last few days... She also had a dream about nenek, us baking cookies together with arwah :`o(((

here goes....

Nenek, tak sempat kte buat kueh same2..

Nenek Siti Rohana Idris 1928 - 2009

harini ktorg bersahur tanpa nenek.. jenguk kat bilik nenek, ucu je yang ade.. tgk atas meja, makanan masih di dalam tin.. slalu nenek masakkan.. makanan ade je bawah tudung saji.. harini ktorg bangun lambat nk sahur, nenek xde, so mein kne tolong papa n mama masak.. kalau nenek ade, mesti tak pyah masak dah.. tinggal nk makan je..

dulu sebelum mein g tadika, nenek slalu tocangkan rambut mein.. nenek tau mein dh lambat nk pegi tadika. tapi, nenek ikat rambut mein lama2 supaya kemas. dulu mase mein maen2 kat longkang, mein jatuh.. kepala berdarah.. nenek yg rawat kan.. dulu g pasar kat batu 9, nenek ngan ucu slalu belikan mein baju nipis sepasang yang ade gambar2 tu.. nenek belikan yang ade gambar Garfield, Mickey Mouse, bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad.. kalau mein tak ikut pun, nenek belikan jugak.. sebab nenek tau mein suke baju sepasang yg kale2 tu.. dulu nenek suke pakai bedak sejuk yg puteh tu.. mein sibok2 nk pakai jugak.. nenek pakaikan.. walaupun mse tu dah malam, nenek dah ngntuk nak tidur.. nenek sabar je ngan mein.. sekarang mse mein dh besar pun nenek sabar je ble mein cakap kuat2 ngn nenek.. sebenarnye mein takut nenek x dengar.. tu yg mein cakap kuat2.. mein mintak maaf nek, kalau nenek rase sakit hati ble mein cakap kuat2 mcm tu..

paling mein rindu pasal nenek ialah mse kte buat kueh dulu.. nenek ingat tak, dulu mse kt rumah lame, nenek ajar mein buat kueh loyang.. mein suke tengok nenek buat kueh tu.. mein suke tengok nenek buat kueh.. tatau npe.. mein sukeee... tapi sejak pindah sini, nenek dah tak larat buat kueh.. perkakasnye pun ntah mne2.. mein tanye2 nenek ble nenek nk buat kueh camtu lagi.. tapi nenek cakap "macam mano laie minn.. bahan-bahannyo tak ado.." kalau mein nak, mein boleh je belikan bahan2nye tapi mein tak belikan.. mein lagi banyak buat hal sendiri daripada layan nenek sorang2 tengok tv kat bawah.. mein sampai mimpi kita buat kueh keria same2.. sume orang buat.. nenek pun ade.. mein mimpi nenek mintak tolong mein masukan kueh keria tu dalam oven.. tatau la npe kne masuk dalam oven.. tapi yang mein harapkn slame ni termakbul jugak dalam mimpi tu.. tapi mein nk buat kueh betol2 ngn nenek.. mein tunggu je dapur kat bawah tu siap renovate.. mein berhajat, lepas dapur tu siap, kte boleh buat kueh same2 sebelum raye ni.. tapi dah tak sempat dah.. :'(

semalam ucu cakap nenek tertanye2 pasal ktorg kat sini.. nenek kat seremban.. nenek tanye ucu ble ktorg nk dtg.. nenek cakap nk tgk ateem.. nenek ingatkan kakja tak jadi datang.. tapi ucu tolong cakapkan kat nenek yg ktorg nak datang petang semalam... nenek tunggula.. tapi tak sempat... mase ucu mandikan nenek, ucu cakap nenek dah tertunduk.. ucu panggil nenek, nenek tak menyahut.. angah cakap nenek dah pergi... mase tu 11.40am.. mase tu mein baru nk kuar beli iMac.. dalam perjalanan ke MMU, mama call papa cakap nenek dah pergi.. papa tersentak.. kereta perlahan dengan mendadak.. mase mein dengar papa cakap "innalillah.." mein tanye "ape? ape?? ape??" mase tu mein terfikir kat nenek je.. ble mein terfikir kat nenek, papa tak payah bgtau pun takpe.. sebab mein dah tau.. nenek yg pergi.. daripada mein gembira sakan nak beli iMac, mein nanges.. mein tau nenek nak pergi dah.. tapi, mein tak jangka pula nenek nak pergi semalam.. mse tu jugak mein call wan n ammar nak bgtau pasal nenek.. ktorg tak jadi beli iMac mein.. mein tak kisah dah pasal iMac tu.. yang mein tau, mein nak jumpe nenek sebelum nenek dikebumikan..

ble sampai butik, mein dengar mama nanges.. tapi mama kuat.. dea tak nanges sebab dea tak dapat terima nenek pergi.. tapi, dea bersyukur sebab nenek pergi mse bulan puasa.. nenek pergi tanpa seksa.. ktorg cepat2 balik rumah, pakai baju lawa2.. mein tau, mesti nenek nak tengok ktorg pakai lawa2, elok2, sebab nenek pun suke macam tu..

mase sampai kt seremban, mein cari nenek.. mein nk panggil nenek, tapi cmne.. takkan mein nk panggil orang yg dah takde.. mein masuk rumah angah, mein tengok badan dan muka nenek dah diselubungi kaen batik.. mein nanges semula.. mase tengok nenek dalam keadaan macam tu, mein mengharap sangat nenek sedar balik, panggil nama mein, mama sume.. walaupun mein tau benda tu takkan menjadi.. mase mama buka kaen batik tu, nak tengok muka nenek, mein tengok muka nenek puteh sangat.. sebelum ni kalau muka nenek puteh, tu tandenye nenek pakai bedak sejuk.. tapi ni nenek tak pakai pun.. mama, angah sume cium muka nenek, peluk nenek.. sayang sangat kat nenek..

ktorg hantar jenazah nenek ke batu 9. mein tengok deorg mandikan nenek.. harum..... tak macam orang slalu ckp.. mse mandikan jenzah, bau busuk.. tapi nenek tidak.. nenek wangi sangat.. kakja pun cakap senang nk mandikan nenek.. lepas tu, deorg balut nenek dengan kaen puteh sume.. kali terakhir mein tengok muka nenek, muka nenek semakin puteh.. mein cium nenek kat dua2 belah pipi.. mase tu mein nak sangat nenek bangun balik, cium pipi mein.. tapi mein tau tu sume takkan berlaku.. lepas sume orang dah cium nenek, deorg usung nenek ke majid yang ucu cakap atuk tolong bina.. deorg solat jenazah kat situ.

selesai sumenye, ktorg bawak nenek kat kubur, sama tempat ngan kubur atuk.. mse tu petang.. tak panas.. redup je.. tak hujan jugak.. deorg sume letakkan nenek dalam kubur nenek.. papa tolong timbuskan.. lepas dah timbus, talkin, yassin sume, ktorg balik.. nenek tunggu yea.. nanti raya ktorg datang balik.. mama cakap, sekarang nenek boleh jumpe atuk semula.. nenek bergembiralah ngan atuk.. ktorg doakan nenek ngan atuk dijauhkan dari seksa kubur dan api neraka.. kakja cakap, nenek sangat senang diuruskan.. itu tandanya betapa mulianya hidup seseorang itu.. mama penah cakap, dulu mase dea sekolah, bila balik2 rumah, mesti ade je makanan atas meja.. kalau nenek tak jage mama baek2, manela datang mein ni ha.. terima kasih, nek..

mase nenek ade, mein tak banyak tangkap gambar nenek.. i should've done so..

I posted a comment for this article, here it is...

mein...

sebulan lebih sebelum arwah meninggal, arwah ada mintak tolong kak ja re-tie her bracelet. I told her, "Nek, iko galang murah yo, kan ado nek bali dari zaza yg maha, nek pakai itu dulu yo? nanti ado maso den buek yg iko".

From day to day, remnants of d bracelet tersadai in my drawer di butik, di dalam bekas bedak sejuk dia. bedak sejuk yg mein ingat tu. dari sehari ke sehari sejak arwah dah start terbaring, kakja teringat nak buat tapi bertangguh. sampai seminggu sebelum arwah ke seremban dia ada tanya pasal gelang di dalam bekas bedak sejuk :o`(((...

dulu I tak rasa pun bekas bedak sejuk yg dah usang tu special, now everytime i see it, I cry. ada sehelai rambut nenek dalam tu, teringat masa mandikan nenek ada dua tiga helai rambut gugur I belek-belek sambil menangis. I simpan, I biar rupa dia rupa yg sama. I tatau sama ada nak sambung balik gelang tu atau tidak... :o`((

I totally miss her. I am still very devastated.

of the determination of my beloved sister. Izuin Zulsyamin

one day before i went back to hometown, Mein had a merentas desa (cross-country) day. we, being her fully supportive family, at first ignored her merentas desa, cus it's like very normal because kami anak beranak memang suka aktifkan diri in ko-kurikulum. but then, bila kami nak keluar pegi kedai in d morning (as usual) mama was like 'eh jom carik syamin, ntah ntah dia dah start merentas desa'.

so we went to her skool (which is belakang umah mama je pun) and found out diorang dah berlepas... so we followed their trail, one by one muka student kami belek, muka dia tak muncul2. i told papa 'laju sket la pa, dia sure depan2 punya' and papa pun carikla jauh sikit, true enuff, she was farrrrrrrrrrr ahead evey other girls, she's among d boys, meanings dat she's in d first position for girls, we were like screaming to her 'meinnnnnnnnnn lari meinnnnnn' muka dia dah merah padam dah, and when she saw us she was like 'haaa korang ke...!!!' and burst into tears... and she gave us a flying kiss and screamed 'thank youuuu'. whoa, it was totally an emotional time for uslah... semua nangis, dengan papa papa sekali nangis, azamuddin pun naik terharu kot (for d record, masa tu hal sekolah azamuddin belum settle), and we followed her for a while but mama kata 'eh nanti disqualified pulak cekgu dia ingat kita bawak dia' so we screamed at her dat to keep it up and we'll wait kat depan, near her school where she'll finish d run.

we waited for her at d bus stop near alamanda, except for mama, who went to join her teachers. while waiting for mein we cheered for every rumah kuning boys who passed us he he (mein umah kuning). then suddenly we saw mama and mein running together, i was like 'amboi orang tua nih, berlari lak dia karang semput baru tau' and mein, tho clearly looked exhausted kept on running with her mom supporting her, and then we left her after she entered the gates of her skool, after we knew, she got d first prize...

I'm so proud of her. i wasn't as determined as she is, now she's training for peringkat daerah, and she also has yellow 2 belt of tae kwan do.

but i jest found out from mom yesterday, dat d day i left for sandakan, mein fell in the toilet in McDonalds, my mom was worried dat she had been gone for too long and went looking for her in d toilet. mom found her on d floor shivering. mom n dad had to carry her out from d toilet and brought her to d clinic and got an injection and had to stay there for about an hour. doctor's diagnose was every single muscle of her body was in tense, and she's also having very heavy menses. i scolded her through d fon for not telling me about d whole thing when i called from abroad to ask bout my cats, she answered me 'aiyo kakja, it's nuthing, i jest fell in d toilet, dat's all'.

well Mein, u're definitely the strongest of us 3. i hope u haf d best of life, and a journey full of achievements ahead. i luv u, Mein..

...Mama, Ateem and Mein...