Sunset at the beach became reality today...

Its happy christmas for some...

But I just had one of the most blissful day.. Hubby made sure I caught that sunset @ PD with our Lumix GF1 today. Kyra had her first mandi laut and Jazzy learnt how to fly a kite! It was almost a perfect day without anyone went berserk or anything like that

Alhamdulillah. Thank U Allah, Thank U Babah & Thank U Mama for d tips of what to expect. Itsa very merry day after all! wait up for pix!

One Flaw in Woman, re-shared.

Flip thru my archive, go to November 10, 2005.

I've posted this... back then. Going thru a hard time makes my heart so tender once again, easily touched even with a simple manner. And I found this piece I posted once again... I'm gonna re-share this, to my newly found friends.

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this was so... moving and... *sigh*

By the time the Lord made woman,

He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said,

"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,

have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable

and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,

have a lap that can hold four children at one time,

have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart

-and she will do everything

with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.

"Only two hands!? No way!

And that's just on the standard model?

That's too much work for one day.

Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I won't," the Lord protested.

"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.

She already heals herself when she is sick

AND can work 18 hours a day."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.

"But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed,

"but I have also made her tough.

You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied,

"Not only will she be able to think,

she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.

"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.

I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak,"

the Lord corrected,

"that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,  her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed.

"You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love, and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have. 

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Owh, Happy day ;o))

read :: My Status in Facebook 2 hours ago

Zuhana Eejay Zulkifle is trying out her old garments. Dat fav pant suit she wore d first time boarding d flight bertandang ke Sandakan 8 years ago is nearly a perfect fit. Soon, baby, soon. [via Celcom SMS]

And I also tried on a very pretty Maxi Dress that I've been keeping [perap!] for a few months now. Me n Mama masa tu ambil supply baju, then saw the dress. It's lovely [well, to me]. Tanah warna brown, graphics warna Pink mostly and some turqoise. Totally my fav combination of color. Malangnya, biggest size was only up till Size 44 [lebih kurang L] but my size at that time was between 46-48 [XL-XXL]. I tried to wear it, langsung cannot masuk. Bukan punggung je tak lepas, nak masukkan tangan pun payah.

So tadi baru teringat nak try men-try ni kan, I was soooo afraid to be kechiwa, but I tried it anyways. Ya Allah MUAT! ya Allah I reaaalllllyyyy don't expect to wear it this early u know. Tak sampai sebulan pun makan Litchin!

Honestly, in the name of Allah Maha Mengetahui, I didn't expect I can go down this far.... Ya Allah Syukur Alhamdulillah!

Sesungguhnya pahala-Mu yang aku dambakan!

Aku bukan seorang Muslim yang sempurna. Aku bukan Nabi yang maksum. Tetapi aku adalah hamba-Nya yang sangat hina, pernah melakukan segala macam kehinaan dan sekarang aku hanya ingin mencari keredhaan-Nya sebelum terlambat!

Aku mempunyai anak-anak yang perlu dididik, seorang adik lelaki yang bakal menjadi imam kepada keluarganya, seorang makcik yang kini hampir buta yang telah diwasiatkan oleh Arwah Nenda kepada keluarga aku untuk menjaganya. Aku adalah anak yang sulung. Kalau bukan aku, siapa lagi yang bertanggungjawab memastikan mereka semua ini pandai membaca Al-Quran? Jadi hari ini, setelah berfikir panjang, aku mempunyai sedikit ilmu. Ilmu aku tidak mempunyai kelulusan utk melayakkan diri menjadi seorang ustazah. TETAPI, dari melihat keluargaku jahil, biarlah aku turunkan ilmu yang aku ada sebelum terlambat! Sesungguhnya kematian demi kematian yang telah aku lihat dengan mata kepala sendiri sangat membuatkan aku sayu. Aku sendiri sudah keluar masuk hospital entah berapa puluh kali, malah mungkin cecah ratus! Manalah tahu, masa untuk ku tidak berapa lama lagi? Tapi jika benar masaku tidak lama, aku pohon di ambil nyawa dalam bulan Ramadhan juga ya Allah!

Aku mahu anak-anak, adik-adik dan Ucu boleh membaca Al-Quran dengan baik. Jadi aku akan cuba sedaya-upaya aku untuk mencari lagi ilmu yang semestinya belum lengkap dan sampaikan kepada mereka. Kalau ada rezeki lagi, mungkin aku sendiri ingin mengaji semula. Kalau boleh, biarlah Atim, Jazzy & Khayra hafal Surah Yasin... itu sahamku untuk di kubur nanti. Moga semasa giliran aku tiba untuk ditanamkan azab dan seksaa kubur itu berkurangan dengan bacaan Yasin mereka... Ya Allah... Permudahkanlah!

My longings...

i am now creating a simple demo reel for my industry practice assignment. though i already presented and passed up my folder design and reports, but i still want to improve on the Demo Reel Cd. After all.... i am gonna need it for my job interviews later.

creating demo reel, with the hope of attracting future bosses and clients, gives me daydreams...

i've always longed for a better life (not dat i am not happy now, but it's human nature to get better by the days, right?). one of my longings is to travel around the world. i love to see new places. plannings gone sour, i didnt get to go to study abroad after SPM (i am still blaming it on 1998 economic downfall).

hoping to get to travel around... soon. be it with two kids to carry around.

Places I would like to go (only some of it, i have a long long list but these are priorities)...

• Mecca - for Umrah again but this time with hubby and kids and hopefully soon for Hajj
• Universal Studios, Los Angeles - I went here before, but that was when i was 4, what the heck do i know bout films when i was 4?!!! i only remember going into Knight Rider's car (the series was so damn popular dat time) and crying like crazy seeing the Frankestein character, and scolded my mom for forcing me to take pix with him. i didn't eat the whole day hehe..
• Disneyland - went to Tokyo disneyland before, it was amazing!! now i'd like to bring my kids to Paris's and Hong Kong's. of course, once in the places i'd do other stuffs :o))
• Rome/Venice/Milan, Italy - who doesn't wanna go here? makan je kot susah. but i'd really like to see all the monuments here, fashion wise i'm not dat keen.
• Istanbul, Turkey - as one of the quest of my Islamic History
• Dubai - Shopping!!!
• Beijing - Mom, Dad n Mein went here. they had one hell of a time, i am sooo jealous!!
• Bali - Too late for the nude beach :op~ but for shopping!!!!

Banyak lagi... takleh pikir sekarang. tapi if i tune into NatGeo Channel ke.. Discovery Channel ke... feels like going every single places seen in there.

My Weird Tastebuds!

I have a thing bout spicy stuffs now.

after abah went to werk, i felt a weird longing, longing for chillies.

So i went to d kitchen, blended some dried and fresh chillies, cut some onions and a wee-bit of garlic, made a little air asam jawa, and cooked sambal tumis. semata-mata sambal tumis. jap lagi leh makan dengan nasik impit yang ada lebih semalam.

throughout this pregnancy i haf been crazy bout spicy stuffs. but the problem is, now dat i am 27 weeks pregnant, my bump is already big and it's normal to haf some minor heartburn. but when i continously eat spicy stuffs, the heartburn becomes so damn iritating. so sekarang nak ikut yang mana, selera ke iritation?

hai.. entahlah... nak pi bantai sambal dah sat lagi, pagi pagi buta ni.

Buffday Wishlist (mo like dream list!)

Some people ask me, "Ey, wat's ur b'day pwezen request?" I will answer, "Ha, really u wanna knoe?" ok here they are...(saper suruh tanya?) Sequence :: from MOST wanted >>> i still want dat!!

Tablet Illustration Board

Nikon Coolpix 7900 (Raimy got his 5900, no fair!! I want better!)

Luxurious Spa Complete wit Facial n Massage package for a year

Compaq Presario X6000 series

Samsung LCD Monitor 21" model 213T(kalau ada double screen lagi bagus)

Portable HDD 120GB

Menyesal tak tanya? Banyak lagi sebenarnya... like perfumes, skin care set.. nike laptop case, a whole new wardrobe by Seed, Laura Ashley etc... cool shoes... plane tix for 2 + 1 to Switzerland plus accomodation... hmmm... banyak... but list but a few!
i'm still under pressure. dats y i'm doing crappy stuffz. last 2 nights i nearly cracked, dah nak pegi dapur minum air sabun dah, so dat masuk hospital takyah wat keje, thank God Azam pujuk masuk tido. yesterday, 'D 25' day, i was demotivated, was laughing only when i go for d class trip to Karangkraf n Azam brought me to Victoria Stn wit jazz but sampai umah dah termenung balik, but i still drag myself awake until 4 am. i had to restructure my pc, gather up ANYTHING i got, the remainings of my ruined assignments to start from wherever i left it 'unbacked-up' wutverla grammar wrong ka wat ka. i hafto to redo a lot of things, i started on my magazine, havent touch d abandoned x-games, my x games logo's gone, it took my one whole night to do it. my PurrFact fonts are gone, also took me whole night. i did tracing for X games, sempat backed it up for only one part where i traced mein, i traced ateem n his bike but i didnt save it in thumb drive where i back up sum stuffz. my altered kebaya pix for interactive multimedia gone gone gone gone thank God i saved sound in E: or else... I'LL BE GONE!

Painful Birthday Eve

PAINEVE
Originally uploaded by binxz.

It's my special birthday, the birthday i've been waiting d whole of my life, cus i'm gonna be 25 on 250405, my favourite number 25. the age i'm supposed to get married (but i already am and has a 2 year old charming girl) and the age i'm suppose to start werking (but i'm still studying) *sigh*... guess wat we plan won't alwez happen... huh?

see dat pic, it happen pn my b'day eve. wat else happened on my b'day eve and meleret till my b'day?

My D: drive where i stalled all my assignmentz CRASH and gone... everything done after 1st April when i last backed my files up is GONE (including many final assignment files)

I was go so freaked out dat i hit my CD burner's door and it broke, dad replaced it wit a new one on my birthday

there's nuthing left for me to do dat i cried and cried and felt sooo demotivated

but i thank God... dat i haf a hubby like Azam. he also got freaked out we quarelled a little d first few minutes but has been very supportive till now. he fixed my new cd burner and installed it last nite after we came back home from dinner @ Victoria Station on him, for my birthday. he gave me Joey, our new huge Silver Persian for my birthday and gave me Jazz, d most wonderful baby i ever know... i'll post another entry later in d day

People celebrate new year with colorful lights n lanterns, do Muslim celebrate Maal Hijrah just as physically as this or also @ heart?

tomorrow is the first day of the year 2004

being in this world where we use the 'NORMAL' masihi calendar i can't help stating new goals, ambitons n dreams for 2004. i definitely didn't do dat durin Maal Hijrah. *sigh*

Goals for 2004 (well at least for now, i'll haf more goals along d way)

• *x* to get 4 flat during my foundation year in LKW
• *xx* to be a good mommie
• *xxx* to cut down weight :: weight goal 60kg AT LEAST (adoi bole ke ni?)
• *xxxx* to be more sensitive to my hubby's whimps n fancies *wink**wink*
• *xxxxx* to be less panas baran towards family

i guess dat's all for now. itupun dah eerrrkkkkkkk !!!!!

my babysitter dah cabut pi KL. adoi gila ka malas nak masuk KL. sure jam. n kalo nak tgk org terbaring tgh jalan mabuk mabuk n nyaris kena langgar kereta, go into KL around 3 tonite. a very familiar scenario in KL durin new year, n some other celebration n festive moments. actually i used to be part of dat, no not d mabuk mabuk one, i never touched all those alchohols but i did do some clubbing. not really serious ones but just to some of my favourite bands in planet holywood, mcities... once got to sit on d same table wit glen, d famous indonesian RnB singer n amy mastura when she did her show in modesto's bangsar (see i dont even know wha d club's name i only know it's modesto's). u know teenagers just wanna haf fun! well gone are d days. days i don't really cherish.

perfect... simple plan

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think i'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
'Cuz it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm all right
and you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing last for ever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
'Cuz you don't understand

just maybe i change that "DAD" line to "MOM"... heh

Orang Islam di larang ngumpat, tak bagus


yes, normally i'll put a praise to God in my d opening line. not now. i want to put dat as an opening line. because i'm sick of orang mengumpat. but i haf to live wit it.
please be informed that most of the thing i'll say afterwards are from my email to ahcik. malehnya nak type balik
kenduri raya ketiga arituh. mintak maaflah, bunga telur tadek spare... sumer aku ngan mummy dah bagi2 dekat makcik2 kat sini. ko taulah org kampung... lagik satu yg kau kurang berkenan dengan orang2 kampung ni, suka sangat mengata sesama sendiri. adik beradik sepupu sepapat, sumer dok kata mengata. bukan kat kampung azam ni je, rupanya mak aku call kat semenanjung sana pun begitu hari raya tahun ni agak tragik. tragik dengan air mata org2 yg tak puas ati, dengki mendengki adik beradik, yg tak reti reti berterima kasih pun ada. adik beradik mak aku rupanya dah pakat fire mak aku tentang benda yg mak aku sendiri tak tahu menahu. rupa2nya maktoot1 aku yg suppose to pindah sebelah umah aku putrajaya dok ngata2 mak aku yg mak aku paksa dia pindah putrajaya, walhal mak aku mati mati ingat dia memang willing to move out sebab nenek aku ikut mak aku skalik. mak aku ajak dia takut dia takdek kawan dok sorang2 kat BTHO. sekali arituh dia marah kat mak aku sebab tegur anak dia tak semayang, dia boleh pegi bawak mulut dia ngata yg dia sebenarnya kena paksa dengan mak aku kepada KAZEN aku. yg kazen aku ni dah membebel dengan kurang ajarnya kat mak dia (maktoot2 aku) suruh konon nasihatkan adik dia yg tak berhati perut (mak aku lah tuh kan). maktoot1 aku citer kat mak aku paksa dia keluar duit dia 10k for deposit padahal deposit mak aku yg bayarkan! just because mak aku suruh anak dia semayang 5 waktu, suruh pi terawih, she did that, maybe because dia sendiri tak reti2 semayang. then hari raya aritu rupanya semuanya terbongkar (tatau camana since mak aku tak citer) dan berlinangan airmata le maktoot2 dengan maktoot3 aku yg ropanya sepanjang puasa dah termakan cakap maktoot1 aku bila tau citer sebenar. cuma yg aku sakit ati si toot yg tak mintak2 maap lagik. dia tu memang tunggu je family aku buat silap tu. nyampah.
yg family kat sandakan ni satu hal lagi. ada satu adik daddy aku ni yg suka jadik batu api. dia suka sangat mengapi2kan orang. ngata anak menantu orang, tapi anak menantu sendiri lagi kelam kabut. lepas tu aku sangat makan hati tengok dinding umah mummy aku ni, ada 4 gambar yg sangat sangat mengusik hati aku dan buat aku nekad buat satu keputusan yang akan aku usahakan balik nanti. gambar tu gambar graduation anak-anak dia dan gambar daddy terima pingat. gambar daddy tu bia' pi lahkan, gambar anak2 dia tu... sedihnya aku. padahal kalau aku teruskan pengajian aku, kelulusan aku jauh lagi tinggi dari diorang... makan hati achik... bukan kat umah ni jaer, kat umah makcik diorang yg jaga diorang jaga time kecik pun ada, tiga tiga skalik. tapi standard la kan gantung gamba anak konvo, aku pun kalo jazz graduate maunya satu umah aku gantung gambarnya tapi yela.. aku yg terasa sendiri. tambah lagik dengan sedara mara yg memang rajin bertanya pasal kerja pasal belajar... seb baik azam pandai jugak menolong aku cover line he he. aku dah nekad ni, aku mesti belajar balik. aku akan apply loan bank rakyat (daddy rekomen, aku dok tanya dia pasal education loan) dan aku akan dapat sekurang2nya SATU DIPLOMA. i hope. pedulikla mak aku nak kata apa. aku akan cuba jugak, biarla ada Jazz, orang lain ada anak pun belajar jugak. jazz pun dah pandai. makan dah pandai duduk diam diam, mandi dah pandai main sengsorang aku tukang tengok je, aku nak angkat je dia mengamuk. hantu air macam aku jugak. tido dah pandai nyanyikan diri sendiri. he he. ko tau dia boleh nyanyi aaaa aaaa aaaa ooo ooo ooo, tapi mata dia pejam. sampailaa tertido. baru dua tiga ari ni dia buat camtu. abih sumer orang heran. anak aku adalah bukti yg mak ayah dia sebenarnya cerdik he he.

kat sini aku speaking sabah. sumer orang terkejut bila dengar aku dah dengan fluentnya speaking tanpa ada lagi lorat keindonan macam masa mula mula dulu. azam pulak yg payah ilang lorat semenanjungnya. sumer orang cakap dah betukar dah laki bini. bini pulak jadik orang sabah, lakinya pulak jadik orang semenanjung. azam pun heran sebab kat umah aku tak selalu cakap sabah dengan dia. alhamdulillah aku dah boleh blend in dengan baik sekali dan dah ada 'allied nations' aku sendiri he he. yele diorang ni suka mengata, aku terpaksa jugak take side, walopun aku tanak. aku ni kan menantu family... kena pandai bawak diri. aku tak join mengata, tapi aku di bawa mendengar. adoi sakit tinger aku... tapi nak buat camanakan... kampung... astaghfirullah... satu lagik jadik menantu, nama je bercuti di sabah selama 3 minggu, haram aku berehat kat sini. dengan jazzy pukul 6 pagi dah ajak bermain pukul 7 pagi dah ajak bekpas, malam malam ngigau tak tentu arah, dan mak oooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiii banyaknye kenduriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii... ye banyak dan aku dengan sangat rajinnya masuk dapur kat semua kenduri and as i type this belakang aku, pinggang aku macam dah kena tetak tetak. sangatlah sakit. tapi diorang heran tengok aku, baju lain dari orang lain, kain pun kain pelik pelik, mekap pun tak macam orang kampung mekap (oOOoOOOooOpppsssieee he he), tapi pandai kupas bawang, pandai cuci lantai, pandai masak, pandai cuci pinggan dalam besen... oh kamon. those are nuthing compared to wutever we had in our camps keh keh. plus aku duduk asrama 5 tahun, kecik kecik plak aku duk nuunnnn kat ulu langat sana, i'm so used to it. ye aku orang bandar yg reti kerja2 kampung. memang aku orang bandar, dah nama kampung aku sekarang pun BANDAR TUN HUSSEIN ONN, ha tak bandar namanya tuh?? aku sengih je bila orang puji. yang pastinya aku jaga maruah mak ayah aku, laki aku dan mentua aku.
ok the truth is, i simply pasted everything i typed to achik here. so ignore the pelikness of this posting. he he. may the force be wit u.