January 22, 2011

Bila Dugaan Datang Bertimpa-timpa

I've just been discharged [yes, again] from HPJ. The admission night began with 2 nebs and 100mg Hydrocort failed to clear my lungs. They wanted to admit me there, but since I have a Psychiatry case follow up in HPJ, Hubby decided I should go to HPJ.

Eventhough we have a refer letter from Az Zahrah, the ED people in HPJ still wanted to try to clear my lungs before admission. Nebs after nebs were given even topped up another 100mg of Hydrocort, still the wheezing and bronchial noise is there. A total of 4 nebs in HPJ, making it 6 nebs altogether, made my hand tremoring like crazy, nak sms pun susah. Phone kept on slipping away from my trembling hands. Xray conducted, ABG taken [I HATE ABGs!!!!] to count my artery oxygen level, and that's it, they had to admit me into the same ward I was in 2 months ago...

First night ~ 3 hourly on neb and Hydrocort. Cemana nak tido gaknya? Ha... u guessed. I didn't. Kejap lagi datang nak buat ABG lagi. Kejap lagi ketip ketip ujung jari nak amik sugar level. Kejap lagi datang nak tgk BP. Tu jelah, sampai malam esoknya lungs tak clear clear. Tapi they reduced it to 8 hourly by tengahari tu... Masalahnya Hydrocort + food made my blood sugar level went so high it reached 20.3! Malam tu... they had to inject me with insulin. Be it remembered in history of my life, I've been injected by insulin 21st January 2011. I'm still young God... why... God why.... :o((

I was discharged yesterday after spending to sleepless and restless nights in ward 4x HPJ. ABGs were taken so frequently that my hands are full of painful bruises that I look like budak kena dera. My body is still feeling very tired and I'm still urinating quite frequently.

I really dont know how to react. If u see my face now, U cant tell how I actually feel. I am very very very devastated, but I forget how to show it anymore... With all that has been going on, with the rehab that teaches me to ignore things and letting things be, with my psychiatry docs telling me everything will be alright as long as I stay positive... I dont know how to react to all this!!

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