dugaan (trials) rarely comes when u're free and tranquil. usually, it comes when u're hectic, busy, or it may even come when u're helpless. this is the time, when God really challenges you. when this time comes, it is up to our patience to deal with the situation.
today i'm very busy finishing my Portfolio Folder Design and preparing the workbook for tomorrow's presentation with Mr. Simon Wong. so tiring, leceh, and i dun like the job. i'm not confident with cutting, but i was so 'bercita-cita tinggi' and go and design my folder with fancy dye-cuttings. printing was quite costly, so i only printed 2 sets for the folder, and one set for bussiness cards (20 pcs). my first attempt to assemble the printed materials failed, i only had one set left and i couldn't afford making mistakes. but with the experience of assembling and attaching the first folder, i know i had to slightly change the design (the paper was too thick, alah kalau explain pun korang bukan paham) and had to switch to plan b, which, i need a matching ribbon to attach my leaflets to the folder. so despite my tiredness and limited time, my hand hurst from cutting to much, hadta rush to warta bangi to buy ribbons.
on the way to warta bangi, Eugene called. at first he only called to ask me to send some messages to Raimy, then luckily i asked bout the deadline, thennnn only he told me that we need to upload our first copy of Major Project TOMORROW. WHAT??!! TOMORROW?? i thought the deadline is next week??? then he said last minute changes, Mike wants us to upload tomorrow, but could continue werking on it till next week. i was like.... HAH?!!! so i went messaging my colleagues whom i haf d phone numbers in my phone (i should really claim LUCT for all these SMSs) and got back tonnes of panic reply . of course swearings all the way (i was swearing too).
so... it all adds up to my chaotic day. i got back and planned to werk on Major first then finish my folder design and portfolio compilations tomorrow before going to the presentation. after all i did all the assembling cept for the leaflet part, bounded my workbook, prepared my journal... so i worked a bit on Major Project. suddenly....
the phone rings. like an instinct, i got butterflies in my stomach, without even hearing the voice of the caller yet. then suddenly i heard my grandma's almost weeping voice 'Ja, ni nenek nak bagitau, Alang accident' vroommmmmmmm my blood rushed to my head. Alang is my aunty, the noisy-kelam-kabut-suka-mengumpat-but-kind aunty, she is also my middle-person for my Acar Buah and Pearls sales (her noisy mouth makes it easy for her to market stuffs), thus the phonings begins. i called Alang's handphone first, asking her the details of the accident. she sounded weak, she told me her legs bleeding a lot and sum Aci sent her to the hospital half an hour ago but she is still unattended. she was hit my a motorcycle while she was trying to cross the road with her 14 years old son, and the bike had no lights on so she couldn't see it coming... hearing her weakened voice i told her to rest while waiting and i went on calling my mom. Mom was already informed by my grandma, and she panicked. when she panics, her stomach goes wild, so dat's wat happening to her, so i told her Alang is ok just had some terrible luka on her legs but still unsure whether there are fractures or not. she told me to inform all my aunties. yes. me. i am usually the informer of this kinda sour news. makes it TWO sour news today. *sigh*
yada yada yada... despite my being 'boyot', i really wanted to go and visit Alang. i knoe it's not serious or nething but... it's jest me u know. i haf this... this very fragile heart that couldn't hear this kinda thing. i cried, i did. i know she's not too badly injured and she's not dat favourable but she's still my aunty. and i know how it feels to be there in the hospital, hurt, waiting for the doctor... i've been there. i've been through it and it sux when there's nobody around to talk too. when i had to wait in Hospital Sultanah Aminah ALONE after my first bike accident years ago, i longed to be visited, longed for my mom, longed a company to pour my feelings to, even for a while. Although i know Alang's son's there with her but i understand she would want the attention; lagi pulak she's quite elderly, sensitive and all. so i followed dad who's taking grandma to the visit her. it was already quite late at nite, and my assignments are waiting to be touched by me, but i still went. and i am glad i did. i see to her till she's safely inside Syahril's (my cousin who also rushed there with his mom n sis) car, go to the balai to report the accident and followed dad to send grandma to Along's (Syahril's mom) house where Alang will stay for the while.
on the way back home told dad to stop at Projet and bought nescafe and ice cream to keep me fresh till at least 2 am to finish my assignments.
i dunno... it's jest me. people would say, why would u wanna go? look at u u can't even carry yourself, and walks like Pingu the Penguin. u got deadlines to catch but... it's just... i have the kinda feeling dat no one would understand, but me. even if she was only a friend, or far-relative, or even my in-laws, i'd still feel this aching in my heart when stuffs like this happens to the people i know.
That's my day... November 9th, 2006. The first day of my third trimester with Chimoot.
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